The title of this blog sounds like a riddle, “You teach people how to treat you with how you treat you”. Say that 10 times fast!

You teach people how to treat you with how you treat you. You teach people how to treat you with how you treat you. You teach people how to treat you with how you treat you. You teach people how to treat you with how you treat you. You teach people how to treat you with how you treat you. You teach people how to treat you with how you treat you. You teach people how to treat you with how you treat you. You teach people how to treat you with how you treat you. You teach people how to treat you with how you treat you. You teach people how to treat you with how you treat you.

Now, lets try to solve this riddle. “You teach people how to treat you with how you treat you.” You are the most important person in your life. I say that statement a lot. I repeat it over and over again because it’s true. Without you, nothing exists. So how do you treat yourself? Do you treat yourself like your most cherished family member or best friend? Why not? You are the most important person in your life.

Take a moment to self-reflect. Are you happy with how you are being treated? If you answered, “yes”, great! Don’t fix something that is not broken. If you answered, “no”, I’ve been there. I used to play the role of the damsel in distress awfully well. There was a time in my life where I felt victimized by others. I couldn’t find healthy relationships and I felt mocked and disrespected by those around me. What’s up with that? It must be them. After all, I was the victim. Well…… We are responsible for our own happiness in life instead of staying stuck in the role of the victim. So what would it look like if I took accountability for the role I played in my life? It’s no wonder others mistreated me. They were merely treating me how I treated myself. I overworked, under ate, over drank, under slept, and self-care was simply not in existence at this time in my life. I sent off vibes to others that I was not worthy of respect. It all goes back to the “monkey see monkey do” concept. Check out my blog on “The Domino Effect” for more on this psychological theory of human behavior.

If this is all clicking for you, that’s amazing. Awareness is the first step toward change. It’s simple, but not easy. If you feel victimized, mistreated, disrespected and/or abused by others, self-check yourself with the following:

1. You teach people how to treat you with how you treat you- This relates to self-care, boundaries, hygiene, eating, rest, self-talk, hobbies, etc.
2. Understand your values- What do you live for? How can you show for your values?
3. Surround yourself with people who speak your love language- In other words, surround yourself with people who get you.
4. How do you resolve conflict?- This is huge! Stay grounded, focused, calm and practice self-respect.

I recommend starting with # 1. Treat yourself with kindness and respect and see how those around you begin to treat you. You are the most important person in your life. Without you, nothing matters. Without self-love, others cannot fully love you. Without self-respect, others cannot fully respect you. Without self-compassion, others cannot feel compassion for you. Check out the Self-Affirmations Tab for more on teaching others how to treat you.