Ugh that overused phrase that sounds like nails on a chalkboard…”it’s not you, it’s me.” Makes you want to pull your hair out right? Well here’s a little insight into how this phrase saved me. It helped me gain control over my emotions. It helped me change my perception. “It’s not you, it’s me” empowers me. I am less influenced by others and more focused on ME.

Ever meet that person who seems to have something to say about everything? They’re always right and the world around them is always wrong. Everything and everyone is out to get them. These people often find themselves in fights a lot. The fights go on an on and catch like wildfire in most relationships in their lives. I feel entitled to be able to speak of these people so bluntly because there was I time that I was one of these people. How did I get through these crises in my life? Simple but not easy. I tried on the phrase, “it’s not you, it’s me.”

The truth is that I was not always entirely to blame for all my woes. However, I have no control over anyone else in this world. I can’t wish upon a star for someone to act, feel, think or change into anything. All I can do is act, feel, think and change me. There were times that I was “the victim”. There were times that I was right and the other person was wrong. It really doesn’t matter who is right and who is wrong. If I’m right but completely out of control with my emotions because I’m busy playing the damsel in distress, right versus wrong means nothing.

If you’re reading this blog entry, good job! And thank you! If you’re reading this, I am going to assume that you’re up for a challenge. You know what happens when you assume? You make an ass out of you and me, right? HOLD UP! If I assume, it really only makes an ass out of me. It’s not YOU, it’s ME! Anyway, here’s the challenge… When you feel irked, When you want to scream so loud it hurts. When you see red. When you want to slap someone straight across the face. When you want to jump around flailing your arms in the air screaming at someone for their idiocy, do yourself a favor. Stop focusing on who is right and who is wrong. Take a look at yourself and your reactivity. Why are you are getting so bent out of shape? Take accountability for your reactions. Ask yourself this question, “what’s the role I play?” Say this phrase over and over again until it sticks, “it’s not you, it’s me.”