Humans LOVE control. We often times coin people as “control freaks”. When you break down the phrase, “control freak”, it kind of makes sense. We are fanatics about and obsessed with finding control in our lives. When we don’t have control we feel “out of control” and this phrase is all but safe. When I hear the phrase, “out of control”, I picture someone pulling out their hair while screaming, crying and throwing a temper tantrum. Comical image, huh? Well maybe I picture that image because I used to look like that when I was “out of control”. So how do I keep myself in control? Well the short and sweet answer is, “I don’t”. I simply keep myself “safe” by being mindful of my safety needs according to Maslow and his Hierarchy of Needs.

Let’s say hello to our good friend, Abe, and his Hierarchy of Needs. Today we will focus on Stage 2: Safety Needs.

As a therapist, I talk about safety with my clients all of the time. Safety is complex because it looks different for everyone. So a helpful question to ask yourself might be, “Do I feel safe right now? How can I feel safer in my life?”.

Do you feel safe in regards to:

• finances
• job
• relationships
• housing
• protection from accidents
• health and wellness

If you answered “no” to any of the points above, STOP. Take careful thought and consideration why you answered, “no” and dedicate your day, week, and/or month to promoting safety in this area of your life. If you do not feel safe in an area of your life, you cannot move onto the other stages on Maslow’s Hierarchy. And those stages are much more fun and exciting!

Perhaps you don’t feel safe with your finances. Perhaps it connects to your low-income job. Explore how these two areas of your life can feel safer. What income would make you feel safe? What job can produce this type of income for you? Be realistic. It might be helpful to get with someone you trust to help you through this process of self-exploration toward a life-changing movement.

Life isn’t about finding control, it’s about finding safety. Safety is attainable. Control is a slippery slope because it’s like a mirage. You might think you have it. You might see it like you see an oasis in a desert. However, it’s simply a dream because we never have full control over anything in life. Life happens outside of our doing all of the time. And so, spend your time promoting safety rather than searching for control.

Check-out the Emotional Wellness Tab and Self-Affirmations Tab for more on our Safety Needs.